Santa Margarita [
in San Luis Obispo, California]
March 3rd. 1890
Dear Frank
Yours of Jan 29 is at hand. have been looking for a word from you for some time, but attributed the delay to the bad condition of the roads.
This is Sunday and the most pleasant day we have had for some time; we have had so few really pleasant days this winter, that we fully appreciate them when we are so favored.
I am alone for the first time this winter I believe. Mr. Anderson has gone to see Mr. McKennon about some little business, Evelyn and Tommy are ? to Grand Pass?; Emma is out to the Morro, Bill has gone out to see Mr. Rogers, and as I have no company will improve this opportunity in writing you a long letter.
And now my dear boy I am going to explain my little talk with you the evening before you went away; first I will tell you, that I love you all the better for your candor and respect your confidence, which makes it possible for me to speak freely to you upon this subject.
To begin with you and Evelyn, especially Evelyn, are very young to form strong attachments, although I have know[n] very happy terminations of the first attachments of even younger people than you and Evelyn; however ? will perhaps, speak of this later., it is of my conversation with you, that I wish to speak of now.
You see Frank you were often here, during those few months, and we had grown to like you very much, not with a thought of what the future might be; but for your self alone; and believing you in every way worthy, did not hesitate to permit Evelyn to receive your little kind attentions to her, never thinking that you would be more interested in each other, than mere friendship would warrant, and if it had not been for the unkind remarks of Fred Cavanagh it is not likely I should have spoken to you at all. Now I am glad that I did: as it enables us to exchange our little confidences.
When I heard what Fred has said I felt worse than you know and had a real good cry all to my self. I did not like to tell Mr. Anderson for I knew he would not like it. I have not told him yet but will some time, when he will not care about it.
I felt hurt, not because I thought you did not care for Evelyn as much as you seemed is, because I had not thought of your being serious in your attentions: but I had hoped never to have Evelyn’s name kept free from the light way some young men have when speaking of what they call their girls.
If Evelyn had been older and understood the art of coquetry perhaps I would not have cared so much but when she was so unconscious of causing any remarks – to have him say that she was very much in love with you, and to use Fred’s expression you were making a fool of her, intentionally taking advantage of her innocent trust in you, only to be forgotten soon or made light of after. You can see I would not like to hear that.
Fred Cavanagh may not think it any harm to amuse himself in that way; but I do. If the participants are of equal experience, perhaps it would not be so bad for then it would be diamond cut-diamond, however I consider your case vastly different
If I had thought you guilty of so base a use of my confidence in you, I should not have given you the satisfaction of knowing why; but would straight away have forbidden Evelyn to accept your further company or correspondence.
At first I thought I would say nothing about it to you; but Just tell Evelyn she had better not go to the party, when I found she wished so much to, I told her why – not just in words Fred had used but enough for her to know that Fred had said you were having a little amusement at her expense and that she had better not give you another opportunity.
She burst out crying and said that she knew you did care for her, then I told her she might tell you if she wished. How she told you I don’t know for she feels rather delicate in speaking of you to me, which is very natural, of course.
I do not wish Evelyn to accept the attentions of any young man who has not good morals & I prefer a gentleman in the best sense of the word. You are the only one that I ever allowed to be considered as anything like company for Evelyn; and I hope with all my heart that she may never care to go with any other young man, I hope she may have years of enjoyment, but I want her escort to be either her parents or some dear friend.
We have had examples, of the folly of girls running around with Tom, Dick & Harry as you know, right in our neighborhood. I think it is a bad thing and shall try to make Evelyn so happy and contented, she will not desire it.
Since you have so honestly confided in me I will frankly say that I have no fear for my daughter, from one who can so candidly tell her mother of his love and hope for the future; and if you and Evelyn are willing to work and wait till you are both old enough to be quite certain, that your love is built on a surer foundation than admiration or youthful romance; when Evelyn has finished her education and fitted herself for the wife of a good and noble man, and you have fulfilled the promises of your youth, be assured you will meet with no opposition here.
I have not mentioned the import of your letter to Mr. Anderson, thinking perhaps you would prefer to confide only in me for the present.
I know you hold a high place in his esteem which would not be lessened, if he knew.
And now, my dear if the time should ever come when either you or Evelyn are mistaken and find that your affection for each other now, is forgotten in a greater love for another be as quick to tell me as you have this. I will think none the less of you, for you cannot command your love—it goes where it is sent, and marriage without it, united and strong, ends universally in misery for both.
May God keep your hearts, my children, from going astray and in these years of separation build for yourself, a long and sure foundation, for a long and happy life to-gether.
hoping you will tell me of your plans, and all you wish me to know with out reserve as I shall you; I will say you have my love, and God bless you.
My Sister is much better and if I should go up there at all, will not start before the first of May. Evelyn will tell you all the news, write soon,
Your loving friend
Mary Anderson
[
Frank would have been about 22 when this was written to him.]